Santa Claus Better Leave Town

A little boy hears a sound downstairs,

He creeps below towards the source of the noise,

For what he finds he was not prepared,

A man bearing gifts, presents, and toys.

This was an intruder, one who destroys.

This old, plump man whom they call the Sandy Claws,

In his large red suit, he looks like a giant lobster,

Sneaking into houses by night, abiding by no laws

He’s probably severed the limbs of many a mobster.

But still, he is considered an annual holiday star.

He has a scraggly beard which looks like dirty silk,

And pointy eared slaves, each like a garden gnome,

He comes by night, stealing children’s cookies and milk,

He could eat someone out of house and home.

Some even say that from his lips seep rabies foam.

This elderly, obese creep who does not have a soul,

Claims to give what sets hearts afire, 

Instead he delivers lumps of black, cold coal.

He promises what children dream of, aspire towards, and desire,

Dream of a Ferrari and you’ll find that he’s a liar.

The boy gets closer to the malicious man,

And learns his true identity,

As it turns out he has no evil plan,

Because what the boy came to see

Was that the lobster man was his daddy.